


Nightmares

by the_ocean_burned



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Angst, Crying, Cuddling, F/F, Fluff, Nightmares, for like two seconds, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-30
Updated: 2017-03-30
Packaged: 2018-10-12 20:19:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10498737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_ocean_burned/pseuds/the_ocean_burned
Summary: Most people mistook Renee for a perfect person. Allison knew better.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for the tfcfemslashexchange on tumblr for reytrashqueen!! Sorry this is short and crappy but I've never written them before and my characterisation is probably off ;~; I hope you like it though!!

Most people mistook Renee for a perfect person. Who wouldn’t? She was smart, and kind, and beautiful, and gentle, but unafraid to call people out on their shit. Even so, she was Fox, and Allison knew better than to think any Fox was perfect. Every one of the Foxes had been hurt, one way or another, and Renee was no exception.

As such, it didn’t surprise Allison too much when she found out that Renee had nightmares. Expecting a Fox to not have nightmares was like expecting Nicky to stop talking about Erik or expecting Neil to stop saying he’s fine when he’s practically bleeding out. It was pointless and only a complete idiot would ever think about it.

Although Allison was an expert at navigating gossip forums in search of the grains of truth that some rumors held and even though the reasoning behind Renee’s acceptance onto the team was an oft-discussed topic on Exy theory sites, Allison found very little on the Internet that had any ring of truth to it. Renee ended up giving Allison the story on her own long before Allison found any hint of it on the Internet.

To someone like Allison who wanted nothing more than to distance herself from where she came from, it was amazing that Renee was so loose-lipped with her past. _There would be a lot fewer bullshit rumors floating around on the Internet if a reporter would grow a pair and just ask her,_ Allison had mused after Renee had explained it all to her.

After that, it hadn’t taken Allison long to fall. How could she not? Renee was not only the sweetest human Allison had ever met, but she was a complete and total badass. What wasn’t to love?

Of course, Renee’s badassery came with a price. Nightmares and panic attacks, mostly. Allison knew Renee hated them; Allison hated them, too. Renee was trying so _hard_ to be a good person, even after all the pain she’d caused, and it seemed unfair that she’d have to deal with what she’d done again and again despite her efforts. Renee said the panic and the nightmares were better when Allison was with her, though, so Allison took that to heart and made it a point to hang around Renee as much as possible. The cuddling was certainly a plus.

The downside to this, though, was that Allison was privy to Renee’s breakdowns. Allison didn’t mind, but Renee always apologized. _It’s my punishment,_ Renee said every time, running her fingers along the surface of the silver cross that hung around her neck. _You don’t need to suffer as well._

 _I’d hardly call it suffering,_ Allison always replied. Then Allison would nudge Renee’s shoulder and Renee would give Allison that sweet little half-smile of hers and everything would be okay again until the next anxiety attack hit.

It usually got worse around May, Allison had noticed. Renee had never offered an explanation, and Allison had never actively sought out an answer, because, speaking from past experience, Renee would probably give Allison one the instant she started looking. Allison could never bring herself to ask, either. It felt too much like prying, and to Allison, prying into Renee’s life felt a little like shooting herself in the foot.

Many people took Allison for bossy, shallow, loud, passionate, or some combination of those. She knew she was loud, and she was most certainly passionate in more than one way, but she did her best to avoid being either of the other two. The last thing Allison wanted was to become her mother. Renee understood this. Whenever Allison was starting to live up to her reputation as a “catty bitch,” as Nicky so eloquently put it, Renee would place a hand on Allison’s shoulder or back or arm and silently remind her to check herself. For the most part, it helped. The only time it didn’t work to calm Allison down was when the person Allison was arguing with made a snide comment about Renee. Those encounters ended with bruised knuckles on Allison’s part and a broken nose on the asshole’s.

Despite Allison’s posturing, she was insecure, and it was pronounced enough that it kept her from acting on her long-standing feelings for Renee, at least until the summer before their final year at Palmetto. Even then, it was more of an accident than anything. Allison hadn’t _meant_ to kiss her, but honestly, anyone would’ve. Renee always looked gorgeous, but right then, in the back of the truck she and Allison had stolen from Matt for the day with the ocean behind her, Renee had looked like a goddess. Allison had leaned over and kissed her. When Allison pulled away, she noticed the way that some of her lipstick had gotten stuck on Renee’s lips.

Renee had been silent for a beat, her eyes wide and her lips parted slightly. For an irrational second, Allison had thought she was going to get stabbed. But the Renee had smiled, her cheeks going pink, and leaned in for another kiss. They’d kissed until goosebumps had started to rise on their arms, long after the sun went down.

It had been the best night of Allison’s life.

Allison couldn’t say the same for tonight. Renee was having a nightmare, which was unsurprising because it was the middle of May, and Allison hated it when Renee had nightmares. It wasn’t that Renee kicked when she had a bad dream, or screamed, or made any sort of noise at all. It was that, when Renee had a nightmare, she went so completely still that it scared Allison. Renee all but stopped breathing, and every muscle in her body tense, waiting for an attack that would only come from inside her head.

Allison knew from experience that she’d likely end up with an elbow to her gut if she tried to wake Renee. The one and only time Allison had tried to pull Renee out of a nightmare, she had ended up on the floor and Renee had apologized for the bruise on Allison’s ribs for weeks. That left Allison with the option she despised more than anything – to lay beside Renee and wait until she woke, unable to do anything but run her fingers through her girlfriend’s hair and hope it helped at least a little.

Allison always felt so helpless when Renee had nightmares, and she hated it. She never said a word to Renee, though; Renee felt guilty enough as it was, and what she didn’t know couldn’t hurt her.

It took Renee less than twenty minutes to wake up, but it was still too long. By the time Renee’s breath hitched and she finally heaved in an entire lungful of air, Allison was as tense as she was. For a moment, Renee scrabbled at the bedsheets, her eyes wide enough that Allison could see the whites of them even in the darkness. Allison sat up and turned the bedside lamp on, the soft yellow glow illuminating the sheen of sweat that shone on Renee’s face. There were tears in Renee’s eyes; the sight of them made Allison’s chest feel tight. She could count the number of times she’d seen Renee cry on one hand, and a nightmare had been the cause of exactly zero of those occasions.

“Allison,” Renee gasped in a shaky voice as she curled her fingers into the soft fabric of Allison’s nightshirt. “Allison.”

“Shh,” Allison murmured as she wormed an arm beneath Renee and pulled her into a tight hug. “You’re alright. I’ll kick anyone’s ass if they try to hurt you.”

Renee pressed her face into the crook of Allison’s neck. Allison could feel her shaking, and then Allison’s shoulder was wet with Renee’s tears. Allison did the best she could, murmuring reassurance and running her fingers through Renee’s soft hair, but she wasn’t sure how much it helped. Allison had never been good at comforting people, and she knew it was no different when it came to Renee, no matter how much she wished it was.

There was no telling how long Renee sobbed quietly into Allison’s shoulder, but it was long enough that the arm that was trapped beneath Renee’s body had gone numb. Allison didn’t say anything about it.

“I’m sorry,” Renee said with a shaky smile as she rolled back onto her side of the bed. Allison’s fingers felt like they were being stabbed with a million tiny needles as blood rushed back into them. “I didn’t mean to break down like that.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” Allison only barely kept herself from wincing when she propped herself up on the elbow of her numb arm.

Renee hummed a soft disagreement but didn’t respond beyond that. Instead, she closed her eyes again and laid her cheek on the pillow. Allison smiled. _I have the prettiest girlfriend in the world._

“I’m serious,” Allison insisted, scooting a bit closer and pressing a kiss to Renee’s temple. Regret that she wasn’t wearing lipstick flitted through Allison’s mind. She liked leaving lipstick kisses on Renee that Renee wouldn’t wash off for hours because she liked them, too.

Renee’s lips twitched up at the corners and she cracked one eye open. “I know you are, but it’s a matter of opinion, isn’t it.”

Allison shook her head. “Nah. Everyone loves you. There’s no way you can do things wrong.”

Renee arched an eyebrow and Allison laughed a little. “Alright, so maybe I’m exaggerating a bit. But honestly, you didn’t do anything wrong. You don’t have to apologizing for crying.”

Renee’s smile widened and she curled herself closer to Allison, tangling their legs together in the process. “Thank you,” she murmured, pressing a kiss to the corner of Allison’s mouth. “I needed to hear that.”

Allison just smiled and kissed her. Words weren’t necessary for Renee to understand that Allison wasn’t going to run away just because of a little nightmare.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Also fun fact that was supposed to have way more angst than it did. My first accidentally fluffy fic lmao


End file.
